every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
