As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
