I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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