Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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