I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
