I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
