Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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