You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
