My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
