Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
