So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
