I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
is wine microwaveable?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
