when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
