I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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