you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I need a burrito and a hug.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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