okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
