his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
