it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
