k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
