never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
how drunk are you?
Several
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
