garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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