Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
