he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
