Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
