I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
