I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
