I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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