I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
