"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
