I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
