"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
