so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
