Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
