Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
