the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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