We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
