he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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