I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
