we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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