no, he came in my armpit
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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