So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
