I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
