Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
