I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
