Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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