but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You left your phone here
Wait...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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