Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
