I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Randomize
