How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
