I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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