capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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